Bill’s Case For Little Cigars

Well, well, well, it seems that some tobacco company bigwigs have been reading my column. As you recall last week I complained about not being able to fine the new Night Owl cigars and just like that, they’re now all over the place. It’s no surprise to me that I have this much influence on the industry and in the future I plan on using this fact to make some big changes in the Pipe and Cigar business.

I was not going to get these cigars but Phil was able to find them and picked up a package of each variety for me to try. I was wrong about the price, you get two cigars for 99¢ . I got one package each of the Original, Tropical, Dark Cherry and Wine.

They are much smaller than I had imagined. I don’t smoke White Owls so there was nothing to compare them with. It doesn’t bother me that they are small, I often smoke Parodis which you may be familiar with from the old Clint Eastwood Westerns. That might not have been the exact kind of cigar he smoked but they look pretty close and they are from Italy where he filmed those Oaters. These are a much slimmer and they have a little plastic tip on them. Not sure why they put those on but after i thought about it, these are made out of pipe tobacco so why not put a little stem n it?

One nice thing I saw right off the bat is they come in a little foil pouch. I’m sure if they didn’t do that they could be all dried out and you would have to keep them in a humidor. These are not the type of cigar you stock your humidor with so it’s nice that they are perfect to smoke right out of the package.

I’ll have to stop here because the rule is – no reviews. I don’t suppose that White Owl will be advertising on the Stogie Report, but you never know. I will say they weren’t too bad. I might even buy some on my own considering they are two for a buck. I just wish they were a little bigger. They are about as thin as a pencil.

Speaking of Parodis, my old Pappy used to love them. He would say to always have a strong little cigar with you if you’re going to be doing any dirty work. That way the smoke covers up any bad smell, if there is any, and the most important part, it causes you to spit. When you spit it keeps junk like sawdust from building up in your mouth and lungs. Old Pappy was pretty smart when it came to stuff like that. Nowadays you have to wear some fancy expensive respirator which means you probably have to first be cleared by some quack medical outfit just to wear it. What a pile of [expletive deleted].

Keep two or three of those little cigars in your shirt pocket and you’re all set.

Back then real men died from things like getting run over by a Combine or from Nazi machine guns. Now they all get cancer or some other disease or maybe their ticker goes out, Their bodies aren’t strong enough to fight off the bad [expletive deleted] cause they’ve been so scared their whole lives. Their only hope is to rely on a pill of some sort. All along a good cigar might have been all they needed. I ain’t no doctor but it seems logical to me.

All I’m saying is that carrying around a few smokes in your pocket may be good medical advice. Nobody would ever admit to it, but it’s true. *

If you’re interested you can get Parodis from Cigars International, another place that should be advertising with us but isn’t. If you wait around for the sales you can get them pretty cheap, although they are not expensive to begin with. It took me about 15 to 20 minutes to smoke a single Night Owl, Parodis come in about the same, maybe a couple of minutes more. They are much harsher and you need to be outside because you will be spitting but that’s why I got them.

I do like those little cigars for whatever reason, mostly because I’m pretty sure they keep me from getting sick. I think my old Pappy was right even if I don’t look quite as cool as Clint did smokin’ them.

[*It should go without saying that Bill’s thoughts are not medical advice and even if they were, it would be bad medical advice.]


Bill is the acting Briar Report Chief of Staff.

he is also the Managing Editor of

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