Bill Watches As The Government Crashes & Burns

Well it looks like tobacco companies are changing their packaging on their own, most likely to get ready for, and to head off, big government. They have that “hey look master, I want to follow the rules, no need to make any more” vibe going on. 

I complain about a ton of stuff, packaging being just one of them. For example, I love bacon (who doesn’t?) but can’t stand how they package it. You have to slit the top, then after that the pack is just flapping open in the refrigerator. Am I supposed to fold the cardboard thing over it? Stupid. Why can’t they put a plastic zipper across the top like they do for ten million other things? The problem I have with the tobacco packaging is the problem I have with government – get off my back. 

Got no problem with them doing regular government things like driving around the ocean in a bad-ass Aircraft Carrier showing everyone how awesome we are, but government can’t stop there. Now there’s so many people working for the government and they spend so much money, and even money they don’t even have, that they have to think of new rules al the time to control your life. We already have enough laws but if they admitted that what would all these people do? They might actually have to go out and get a real job. Even when they’re shutdown they keep spending money. How is that even possible?

How much money do you suspect they spent just thinking up the rules on packaging tobacco? Probably a whole department and years of meetings. Millions. Tens of millions. Then they just make them up. I’m sure they pretended to listen to “your input” but anyone with two eyes and an [expletive deleted] knows they don’t care. They get together with their activist pals and think of ways to stick it to guys like me.

They get away with it because they are too big to fight. This is what happens when you let them go too long unchecked.

So after they spend a fortune on making these [expletive deleted] rules then they wait around for peons to fight back in court. They have an army of lawyers and unlimited funds and we have a few companies and organizations that are willing fight, but their funds are limited so eventually the government wears them down. Next thing you know there are pictures of diseased guts on your tin of pipe tobacco. Sick – not the photo but the fact that they can do that. 

I could give you examples of pictures I’d like to put on stuff they buy but what’s the point? They would just dismiss it as the rantings of a lunatic and keep marching ahead with their own agenda. They could care less what someone like me thinks and they are going to do whatever they want. 

Here’s the problem, once all those people who were willing to put in the time and money to fight them are out of the way, then the bureaucrats will move in with their next phase. It will never end. Once they win one battle they will form the next committee and begin work to do who knows what. Probably ban tobacco altogether I suspect. Why should it matter to them? They don’t like tobacco so screw us. Then when tobacco is gone they will look around to find something else they don’t like. 

99% of the people don’t care because they don’t smoke either. They might even support such measures. Until when the next thing the government goes looking for is something they like. Then they will be outraged. Well guess what [expletive deleted], when that happens I’m not going to lift a finger.

This government shutdown is a perfect example. Why should I be upset that they are not in Washington thinking of ways to screw me? Maybe if they spent their time trying to make things easier and better for me, instead of thinking of ways to make my life more miserable and ways of telling me no, I might be more sympathetic with them.

Probably won’t get much worse because while they spent the country into bankruptcy holding their conferences on what rotten teeth photos can we force people to see, they didn’t use two brain cells to think about that when it all comes crashing down it’s going to be their stupid worthless jobs that will be the first to go. Gone will be the days of them figuring out where they are going to go on vacation and instead will panic at the idea of not getting their cushy pensions and the fact that they didn’t save enough to retire without it. 

Do they think I’ll be telling my Representatives they need a way to help these people? Don’t think so. I’ll be the first one in line demanding their worthless jobs get axed. Screw them and their stupid pensions. They shouldn’t even have jobs in the first place. They can get work down at a soup kitchen peeling potatoes to feed the people whose lives they ruined by wasting money and gaming the system.

I’ll be thinking about them peeling away while I smoke my cigars or enjoy a pipe because unlike them I can take care of myself. I don’t need the big bad government behind me to push people around like they do. I’m not going to stop buying cigars because they put a scary warning on it and I’m certainly not going to have any sympathy for these hacks when they crash and burn in a system that they created themselves in an effort to control me. 


Bill is the acting Briar Report Chief of Staff.

he is also the Managing Editor of

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