Bill Has A Spring in His Step

I was told during the last Staff Meeting that there has been a big groundswell for me to add some more pipe information in my column. It doesn’t surprise me that so many now look to me for advice and information, but you may not know that I’m not an expert in pipes. Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot more than your average schmo but not enough to be giving expert advice. No, I will not be doing another column on pipes. I just don’t have the time.

I saw last week where some of the people who used to do live shows on YouTube have been taken off the air because they have to have a thousand people subscribing to them if they want to have a live show. Our magazine did an article on it trying to get their number of subscribers up. It’s a good idea but a thousand is a lot. I hope it helps.

I have gone through the names in the article and clicked on all the ones in the list. So you may notice that I’m following you now. If I missed you and you need the followers so you can do live shows, send me a note and I’ll click on you too.

This week was much better than last. I’m sure it has something to do with not being so busy. When you have the time to get things done it isn’t so stressful. Plus it’s Spring, nice time of the year if you ask me.

Want to know something funny? Remember how I told you about the guy who was going around selling fake Cohibas? Well, after he left me he found some buyers and ended up selling all those cigars that very same day. He made a ton of money. sold them for between $125 and $200 a box. I can’t believe it. Now I’m mad that I didn’t buy any. Not that I wanted to smoke them, but I could have turned around and made a quick buck on them. It would have been tough because I wouldn’t have wanted to lie, so I would have had to figure out some way of selling them without telling people they were real. I might have said “my friend just got back from Cuba and he brought these back with him. do you want to buy any?”

Not sure if I could have done it. I’d love to make the money but don’t think I could have had the guts to actually do it. Thinking about scamming people sort of makes me sick.

Enough of that.

It’s the time of year when you can get back outside and have a smoke without freezing your backside off. It’s always nice to be able to get out and just sit and relax. Anytime now, the grass will have to start to be cut, and two times a week at that. Plus all the things during the winter that you put off because the weather was bad you now can’t put them off any longer. I hate working outside, it’s too hot. Outside is for looking at and enjoying, not for working in. But there is that short time at the beginning of Spring when you are waiting for everything to begin and you have some time. When you see those flowers poking their heads up you know the time is near. Plus when your gung-ho neighbor is out there whistling while he’s walking around picking up sticks, you know he’s looking out of the corner of his eye expecting you to start picking up your sticks. Go back inside and put up some more fancy crown molding and leave me alone.

When you smoke outside you can have some of the stuff you might get in trouble for if you lit them up in the house. You know what I’m talking about. The real stink bombs. Outside it doesn’t matter. Plus you are not sitting in a cloud of smoke which is nice. You also don’t have to have an ashtray.

I hear people say they have “spring blends” or “summer blends”. Different things for different seasons. I usually just split it up between inside and outside. If the weather is nice and I can sit outside then anything goes. Works for me. Not much thought to it.

The one problem I’m going to have is my outside chair has one leg on it that’s two inches shorter than the other three. I’ve got a nice cedar chair out on my porch which I leave out all year round. Never had any problems until now. Something happened over winter and one of the legs is rotted. Now when you go to sit in it you almost kill yourself. I like that old chair but I don’t want to have to put a brick under there to prop that leg up. Looks like I’m going to have to get a new one. That old chair lasted me a little over twenty years. Not too bad. This time around I might get one with a pad on it so it’s nice and comfortable. Big wide armrests so I can keep my pipe stuff all lined up.

If I get some time this week it might just be time to start looking for that new chair. If I can find the right one it might be the start of a wonderful relationship.


Bill is the acting Briar Report Chief of Staff,

he is also the Managing Editor of

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